duplicity ic inbox

[faebysitting]

INBOX text / audio / video / action You have a question? Feel free to ask me; I’ve seen it all. Although, I’ve forgotten almost everything. art credit code credit

Comments

[faebysitting]

[ It had been.... hard to act like everything was normal. How was he supposed to? This new knowledge changed everything. He understood more of what Gloomurai had been hinting at about his life during talks that got too deep. Connected as they were, close as they'd gotten, it was beginning to change how he felt about Idia, and... it's frustrating.

Lilia believes he's fully in the right, ignoring their shared messages as he attempts to work through how to approach this and how to feel about it. Does he ignore that he knows? Forget, for a time, and hope that somehow Idia found out his identity some other way? Ugh, but then he might get upset that he kept his knowledge a secret and--

There it was. A message from him... and it's normal. About games. ]

What did they have the character do that made you now like them? I am sure I will forget by the time I get there.

[ Probably less than he normally says, but hey, the message is sent in a very timely manner...! ]

[flameinthedarkness]

[Yep! As far as Idia is aware, everything is normal. After all, he didn't get Lilia's username, only gave his own out. And anytime he spots Lilia's face on the network he just breezes past it without looking to see what it was because... why would he? He doesn't want to talk to that guy!]

oh. that. ah. ok that kinda embarrassing now u ask that. ah how to put. there a real cathartic scene with him since hes been a shit all the time u known him wwwwww get to take out some ah frustration on him

...he kinda cute now [Whoops! All he wanted to do was rant at someone about a game, not go into detail about why... but it makes sense he would be asked just what did that.]

[faebysitting]

[ Despite everything, this was still his friend. Still someone who felt normal to talk to.

Ugh. UGH. But why did-- why was he thinking about how that sort of explained his and Idia's OWN time knowing each other? They're both little shits in their own way and-! Ugh!!!! No, no, no. Brain, do not go there. Don't even try. ]

Maybe that's what they were going for. The build up of all the tension between the player and him would lead into the scene being even more impactful.

Did he take or receive? You must give me a little more detail if I'm to fully imagine the impact of this scene.

[ ... and it was still easy to fall in line and poke fun at his friend, when he pushes down everything else.

Maybe, just maybe, he shouldn't be asking follow up questions. Going to feel so much more awkward. ]

[flameinthedarkness]

[OMG this is getting even more embarrassing. Good thing Idia is hiding behind his device to do this. And, well, it's hard to talk about games here without it leading to that kind of talk. Though they have been good at keeping a line between game talk and irl talk on the matter.]

a bit of both? like u get to beat the shit out of him but then it turns into MORE. sigh i guess this is just how it goes with them catering to all genders? they too lazy to make different scenes for different body part options of the MC. i guess it works but real generic. but yeah he like... i guess power bottom lololol just one u choking out during it. and he REAL into it.

and yeah i guess its that. he's so fuCKIGN ARROGANT during most of it then this scene happens and goes into the next chapter and its like... oh. like they write him a TOUCH softer that only MC seems to notice? its weird... but good... omg freaking twisting up characters i both love it and hate it CAUSE I HATED HIM AND I WANTED TO KEEP HATING HIM HOW DARE THEY LOLOLOLOLOL

now just wanna bully him more

[faebysitting]

[ As expected, it's awkward. The lines, while they were still very much there, were harder to keep up. It wasn't anything more than the fact that Lilia felt he was doing his friend such a disservice here, acting like everything was normal when it really was not. It felt like he was lying, pretending to be someone he isn't, even if he isn't changing anything about the way they talk to each other.

But even if he knows, shouldn't he let Gloomurai -- shouldn't he let Idia still feel like nothing changed? Keep up the lie of being faceless to each other. ]

That does sound very cathartic. I should work on getting further along in the story so I can see the scene for myself. Putting those types in their place in games is always such a good experience, isn't it? The addition of the MC noticing the other sides of him, too. It really shows you a whole new side of that character, something you wouldn't have noticed if the scene never happened.

That is really one of the amazing things about storytelling, when you learn something so new, when a character is twisted in such a way that you can see them in a different light. Don't know how realistic such a situation is, but it's certainly fun in fiction.

[flameinthedarkness]

yeahh it is. i do like a good change in a character. even if this feels a little fast but feel this game is pretty fast pace on this kinda stuff anyways. it not bad. just quicker than other games ive played. like that one i suggested when u first got here, my fav in that was so slow in development but it was SO WORTH IT when u start seeing signs in it. its uber cute

ok ok ok rant over ty for listening wwww i cant do this with anyone else. no one else gets gaming like u do. one of my subs really isnt a gamer tho they getting better and wants to be included which is great. and the other would just be like 'lololol hot' but not add much beyond that surface level understanding of it. plus dont think gacha mobile stuff is really their thing

[faebysitting]

[ Gloomurai trusts him so thoroughly. He can't say he doesn't feel the same. The two of them had been friends for years, had been able to only really speak to each other about the games they enjoyed. To rant and ramble on and on about games. Both here and back home... late into the night, to the point where they had to force themselves to log off to make sure they could have at least a little sleep for their following day. Those nights were some of the most precious to him, being able to make a connection with someone else online.

They might've figured out sooner, back home, if he'd gotten around to asking Idia if he'd wanted to co-op sometime. Not that Idia would have accepted the offer. Ah, so many 'what if's and questions come to mind. All he wants, now, is to forget he'd ever been given this knowledge. To go back.

He's staring at the screen of his device. It's open for a little too long, those messages open in front of him. What can he say..?

Should he even...? ]

[ He writes. I hope this never changes. He erases it.

I'll always be here to listen. Erased.

Is it selfish to hope this never ends? I want to talk to you like this forever. Erased. Erased. Erased.

None of these sound right. He's overthinking it--
Talking while hidden behind a screen wasn't as easy when you knew who was on the other end. Especially when you don't know how to feel. ]

It makes me immeasurably happy to hear you feel the same. It can feel so lonely, having no one to rant to about these things. I've had a great teacher when it comes to gaming, haven't I? The best of the best.

I can only hope that this lasts for as long as it possibly can.

[ Was that too much? Too little? ... He can't find any "proper" words. Oh well. That'd have to do. ]

[flameinthedarkness]

yeah most ppl dont get this kinda stuff when i talk about it [Here or at NRC, not when Idia starts going on a happy, or annoyed, rant about something he knows well, at super speed, and with all the jargon.

MuscleRed got it.]

wwwwww a good teacher only as good as willing student. i cant believe only been like 3 years or whatever

[Hm, oh, yeah, that had a bit more weight behind it, didn't it? Idia pausing in his bliss of gaming joy to read it over a few times, frowning as he types,] u good MuscleRed? something happen?

[faebysitting]

[ ... He hadn't meant to kill the mood. What had he expected, with what he'd typed out? ]

My apologies, Gloomurai. I've been trying to make sense of something for the last few days, something a friend is going through. I'm still a bit distracted by that, if I'm honest.

[ And he was being honest on that part... mostly. If only you remove the part about it being a friend going through it. ]

It's a complicated situation. I don't mean to have my scrambled thoughts and feelings regarding that interrupt our conversation.

[flameinthedarkness]

it all good! sorry u got stuff going on. thats tough. even if u not the one going through it [Poor MuscleRed. Could Idia help in anyway? Hmmmm.

Oh,] im better on in game advise than IRL but it help if able to break it down into part? if work through it piece by piece if it was a mission that might help? i get it private n if u dont wanna say, but maybe outside perspective helps? dont promise i will have solution tho

[faebysitting]

[ It's not exactly a smart idea to bring this up to Idia of all people. Or, maybe... maybe he was one of the only people who would understand, if he explains it vaguely enough. ]

We can try. [ Piece by piece, like a game mission... He needs to keep this as vague as possible. Idia was a smart boy, although he's not sure how smart he is with social situations. ]

My friend, let's call him V for simplicity's sake. For context, V is someone I know IRL, in Duplicity. Not from home.

He had a penpal type friend back home. Someone who he exchanged emails with. Let's call this friend S.

The two of them never once saw each other's face nor knew each other's names, but they shared a passion together, talking for hours and hours about their shared hobby. Never really talked about their own lives. Due to some life circumstances, V was going to be moving. Would no longer have access to the Net. So he told S this, explained that he wouldn't be able to talk with him anymore and logged off for the last time. He didn't really explain why, what was happening, nothing. Just said he wouldn't be able to go through with their shared hobbies anymore.

Then, V was brought here. S was already here. The two reconnected again over the net, kind of like how you and I did. The first part then would be this: he's trying to deal with the guilt of what he'd said, the fact that he was leaving without much of an explanation at all, but S hasn't brought that up at all. Might not even be from the same time, to have experienced that.

[ ... Hopefully that was changed and vague enough. Maybe not. Ah oh well, he can't go back now. ]

[flameinthedarkness]

[Hmmm, that was quite the situation, wasn't it? Huh, it also sounds really similar to what him and MuscleRed have going on, the whole communication without physical contact. And being brought here.

Guess it's common enough for several people to be in the same situation. Weird.]

i can see the struggle here. Difficulty rating is high. I guess ur friend gotta break it down into a few steps. like what their goal is, and what their limits are. like if they got a natural debuff with dealing with stuff irl then maybe they gotta communicate OL only.

and goal wise i guess gotta work out what they want. do they wanna repent? to know if S knows the same as they do? To make up for it even if S doesn't.

I would say V needs to get their head sorted on their goals first. then work out the means to meet those goals. that make sense?

[faebysitting]

[ What does he want? What was his goal here? ... Why was Idia of all people the one that Lilia was getting this advice from?

That knowledge still gets him every single message that comes in. And yet... it's becoming more reasonable, more understandable. That this person who he'd gotten to know was just the person that Idia struggled to show the world IRL. Being online, if easier for him... should Lilia even judge him for that?

He's so very used to taking on all of his burdens alone. To put more on his own shoulders to be sure his loved ones could live in a world that was so much better than the one he experienced. Even thinking to bring this up was... foolish. Selfish. He should bury it away, ignore that he knows, pretend, for Idia's sake. ]

It does.

[ Could he still run with this analogy? No, if he even tries to put his own goals into action here, to meet them, then the analogy falls out completely. He would end up revealing that it isn't a friend's issue at all. His jaw tightens. ]

What if it isn't something that V can repent for? Something out of his control?

... I suppose it would be up to S, then, to see how they feel on their own and decide whether they stick around V, or if it reopens that wound, if S does remember the same things, isn't it?

[ A pause, and he adds: ]

Hey, Gloomurai. Can I ask...
If it were you and I in this situation. Would you prefer I ask whether you knew or that I hold it in and do my best to make it right without being sure of what you might know?

[flameinthedarkness]

[Oh, well,] i mean if V didn't cause it then what the problem? S would have to be an asshole not to see that. like. i can get it would hurt. have a friend vanish suddenly. especially not knowing why. but i guess

[Hm...] a couple of years ago i wouldnt had got it. but i do now. or in a different way now. ppl leave. simple as that. sometime, eventually, everyone leaves. goes away or dies. before i would just hide away and not try to even make connection cause of that. but the last couple of years i realized all that does is fuck me up

[If it was them? What has MuscleRed done for Idia to be upset about? But lets go with the hypothetical.] i wouldnt want u to be upset or hurt over keeping it in if it would hurt to do so. ur my comrade. my friend. even if im the one that enforced this separation here. dont mean i want bad things for u. i guess just... idk. [...Idia wants to go back to talking about S and V. Not them. But... he owes MuscleRed this. To answer it truthfully. And, well, Duplicity forces truth, normally when you least want it to happen, so having a choice to be truthful rather than forced to? It's nice having that choice.

Even if it sucks.] if it helped u to ease pain, id want u to tell me. after all, 'make it right' could be a totally different thing to me vs to u.

[faebysitting]

You have learned that far earlier than most do, haven't you? The fact that everyone leaves, one way or another. It's a terrible realization to come to. Only two options come with it: to adapt or to let it tear you apart from the inside out.

[ Is he even thinking before he types anymore? Really, maybe he should set his device down, think about it for a few minutes. Instead... ]

Making connections. Genuine ones. That has been difficult for me to do for a while now, after a time in my life where I was first finally coming to terms with that realization myself. I would consider you one of those genuine connections I've been able to make after.

It has never mattered to me whether we're separated. You are still my friend. And yet...

[ Okay, tear the bandage off in one go if you're going to do it... ]

I haven't been honest with you. There is no V or S, Gloomurai. A cliche and overused trope, I know, to ask about a 'friend', but I've worried that, somehow, this will all end if I dared bring this up.

[ Keep it on the one topic, and it'd be fine, right? right. Maybe he could knock out ONE sense of guilt here, forget the rest. ]

[flameinthedarkness]

[Wait. Hold on.

DID IDIA REALLY FALL FOR THE TROPE?! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG that's CRINGE! He staring at his screen for awhile before slumping in his chair, unable to believe it... and yet... he's living out a trope. Huh. Heh. Ok then. A soft 'pfft' from between his teeth, caught in that moment. Before looking back to MuscleRed's words. The concern he can read in them. And realizing the weight that must had been on his friend's shoulders by trying to figure this out but also not tell the truth. That's gotta suck.]

guess i know why that trope works now. that or i failed my perception roll. or u crit on it lol.

i dont recall u ever wronging me MuscleRed. or you leaving. [If anything it's the reverse for Idia... which... now he's feeling bad about it with MuscleRed feeling bad about himself! WTF?!] last i remembered we were supposed to raid and

[Oh. Guess Idia can't... or shouldn't avoid it.] and something happened to me. i got taken. not to Duplicity but another place. just yoinked me away. im the one who left u. not u leaving me

i didnt even get to say goodbye. and by the time i got back u were no longer OL. thought u had moved on from me. didnt blame u. i vanished on u.

[faebysitting]

[ … Oh.
They were not ‘their’ Gloomurai or Musclered. The times they came from were different, for sure. Did that matter…? Not really - if it was that close to him not being online anymore, then it’s likely that was their very last raid. Close to the same time, a different world. Still the same people, the same bonds that they’d made. ]

Here I thought I’d been too obvious. You must have critical failed that perception roll, my friend.

[ Would it have been worse, had he not been able to say goodbye to Gloomurai? What would have changed? The ending of a friendship - was it better to be ghosted or to say goodbye? ]

I was always going to say goodbye. It was inevitable.

… We are not from the same place. That doesn’t change how I feel. I’m positive it’s close to when I would have needed to say goodbye, that you returned. That most of our memories align.

I didn’t explain anything to you. I’m not sure I even have the words to explain it now… but before I was brought here, I suddenly told you I was quitting gaming. I said goodbye as if all that time didn’t matter to me, when the very act of saying goodbye felt so very impossible, like saying goodbye to an old friend.

That’s why, when we found each other here… to have more time to spend, before I have to say goodbye again. I didn’t want to lose that. I still don’t. I’d no clue what you knew and didn’t… and whether you were ignoring it for the sake of having more time.

I was. Ignoring it, that is.

Maybe I should have just continued ignoring it?

[flameinthedarkness]

why i suck as social but rule at gaming

[Idia sits quietly as he reads, going through what MuscleRed had done, what he had done to his Gloomurai. And just... how did it feel? Should Idia feel upset or hurt? That after their time MuscleRed just vanished with a 'bye' and nothing else? He's not sure, maybe because he isn't that same kid anymore. He's been through more than his already weird life had fated for him; the Train, his Overblot, Duplicity. Idia's been surrounded by loss. But also friends. Family. Many gone now. Others appearing. Like MuscleRed.

So it comes back to that question; was he upset by learning this?]

i dont think i can answer this as your Gloomurai. How he would feel. Since im not him anymore. all i can answer is as someone who been through shit he hadn't. and for me. it fine. im not angry. or upset. i think im feeling how u r, happy to get a second chance.

so u dont owe me anything. all that repenting or bs i said earlier about V and S [Also why V and S? Huh.]

just keep playing games with me. that all i need. im happy with that. for however long we both have here.

we can ignore it if u want. idc either way. cause im not upset about it

[faebysitting]

[ Idia had changed a lot, hadn’t he? What he’d experienced differed from what he was meant to. Or, maybe, what he’d experienced was what was meant to happen. Either way… It’s strange, to feel pride for someone who a mere week ago he wouldn’t give a second thought about, but how can he not, knowing this this was also one of his closest friends? That he’s grown so much. ]

Neither of us can answer for the other “us”. What I can say… is that it doesn’t matter who we are.

I’ll continue to play games with you. To be here with you, for as long as we have.

You may not be “my” Gloomurai from home, but you are “my” Gloomurai here in Duplicity. In that way, nothing really changes.

[ This … was a relief. A piece that soothed part of his scattered mind. For how long, who knows? ]

Thank you. I know this was sudden. Too much has been going on recently. Enough that any little thing begins to eat at me. I appreciate you listening, putting up with my roundabout explanation, the eventual “confession” of my “crime”, and… your honesty, too.

I don’t care whether we pretend or not. Having it out there, knowing that you’re of the same mind. That’s enough for me.

[ There’s still the chance this could all fall apart. It might not. It might be fine. Or, the truth of his identity could be the last straw. For now, he’d keep the secret close to his chest.

Nothing needs to change. They could stay like this, forever. Until the inevitable comes knocking, until one of them leaves. ]

[flameinthedarkness]

heh that a good way to put it. we all just 'our' versions here. even if we not from the same version of the same world [Not if this MuscleRed got to say goodbye.

Good. It meant he lived.]

i'll take it tho. real happy to take it.

i mean when big stuff going on with city its so easy to just burst and wanna let it out. know i been doing more of that of late... and it not as bad as i thought it would be. i guess others seen me worse with that city has made me do wwwww

u feel better now it out? [To check. To fully check.]

[faebysitting]

That's for sure. It's been rather difficult to keep much hidden from those around. This city seems to have a way of breaking down much of what we know, forcing us to talk, to bond in other ways, whether we want to or not. [ Even then, there were lies. Secrets kept, held back. A life that not many were wholly aware of, forgotten to time. A life that shaped him in more ways than one.

A reason, to keep lying. Pretending. To enjoy the small moments as they come. And, for now... to let go of whatever feelings built up, that he harbors, and to focus on taking the time to enjoy this. Whatever may happen from here.

For all he knows, Idia might already be well aware of who was behind that name 'MuscleRed'. Might be keeping the same secret for his sake. Who knows? They could keep playing pretend, whatever the case may be. ]

A bit.
There's always something.

But this does help. Thank you, Gloomurai. You really are one of those I can count on. I hope to be someone you can count on as well in the days to come.

fin?

[flameinthedarkness]

[How would MuscleRed, Lilia, feel to know that he was the one person safe from that. That Idia wouldn't doxx him. Didn't want to find out if the other didn't want to present him with such knowledge? Idia could easily do it, here or back home. He just doesn't want to, he respects MuscleRed too much. If he was to suddenly learn who MuscleRed was?

Well, he's not sure what he would do. Even after this reveal. He really has no clue.]

yeah blah blah positive twist on it blah blah silver lining blah blah all that wwww

i hope so too. ty MuscleRed. Really.

ya!! here's a little bow to wrap it with~

[faebysitting]

Not to suddenly push all this mushy stuff aside, but...

Could you believe the recent update of Gun Riders? This event made me so mad, the mechanics were so difficult compared to the base game, with such little rewards. How do they feel it's fair for us to work so hard only for practically only 2 shards and some crumbs?

Not to mention the cards that released this round were absolutely nerfed on release...!!